I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
