I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
