I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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