yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
