Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
