i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
this just has baby written all over it
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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