Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize