Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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