He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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