I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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