9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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