Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
