Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
