marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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