Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
