After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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