so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
