she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
