youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
