I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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