I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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