I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
