it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
