we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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