OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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