You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
