wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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