he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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