oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
