so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It's Friday. Sex?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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