fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
