he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
