hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
