I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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