HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
