Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
