dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
