my mouth tastes like poor choices
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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