guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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