Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
