Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
