She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
