I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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