tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
