You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
