You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
