There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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