I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
