I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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