just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The dick lei will go down in squad history
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
